funny quotesFunny quotes??

i'm looking for some funny quotes... leave yours ;)
thks
thought for graduates
"a thermometer is'nt the only thing that gets a degree without brain"


the wish of all science students
"newton must have sat under a coconut tree"
try

http://www.free-jokes-online.com/quotes/funny-quotes.html

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you.
http://www.quotes-funny.org/

Never let a fool kiss you or a kiss fool you.
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-funny quotes-Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continuously stating and repeating the very very obvious, as in 'It's a nice day,' or 'You're very tall,' or 'Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right?'
--The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur: If I asked you where the hell we were, would I regret it?
Ford: We're safe.
Arthur: Oh good.
Ford: We're in a small galley cabin in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.
Arthur: Ah, this is obviously some strange use of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of.
--HHGTG
''those who call people bums on welfare should remember who funny quotesput the bums of the people saying that in the chairs they are sitting in.'' '' it is crass to insult anyone with potential cash'' ''the spender if insulted will leave the store metaphorically bruised and tender''
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize"
-Steven Wright
'you drunk! some day you'll drown in a vat of whiskey!-[mother-in-law]----------------… where is thy sting????? egbert souse/ "history is the history of humanity never learning from history"